Mimi Smartypants made me laugh, so I'm copy/pasting this here for you.

Perhaps it makes me an asshole, but I am ever-so-slightly annoyed by shipping-address pull-down menus where the US and Canada are in their proper alphabetical position, rather than at the top. I do more internet shopping than most people from Afghanistan and thus I deserve the convenience of being farther up the list. I probably am just envious that Afghanistan has way more heroin than I do. Afghanistan is all, “First in the pull-down menu AND tons of sweet sweet heroin, ha ha suck it bitch.” And then I say, “I'd have to take off my burqua to suck it properly. Is that okay?” And Afghanistan says, “Uh…let us check with the imam and get back to you.”