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Tuesday · March 14 2006

How to fill a fantasy baseball team with classic Nintendo game characters
In my world, Nintendo and baseball is better than chocolate and peanut butter.

Toad from Super Mario Brothers, LF
Only on the team as a favor to the marketable Italian brothers, this diminutive's only attribute is chasing fly balls and catching them in his soft, padded, circular mound-head. In the event that he doesn't get to the ball, it usually turns into an inside-the-park home run, as Toad's 6-inch arm span doesn't allow him to hit the cutoff man.

Samus Aran from Metroid, Pitcher
Yes, she's a woman. Yes, her history as a bounty hunter causes others to distrust her. Yes, her body suit might not be legal. But it's all worth it. She has a fucking arm cannon built in. Literally.

© 2006 Jason Keglovitz