Wednesday · November 09 2005
Kids in the Coffee Shop
NYT piece on how the Andersonville cafe, Taste of Heaven's, stand against disruptive kids pissed off moms in the neighborhood. What do you guys think? I think both sides have a point, but, bottom line is, if you're not welcome because you have a loud kid, go somewhere else. You have lots of choices. It's the owner's prerogative to maintain a certain atmosphere in his place. Plenty of other cafes and stores will gladly accept your money with or without the crying.
And $3.75 for a scoop of ice cream? You don't need a sign on the door, man. That's kid-unfriendly.
As I see it, both sides are wrong! If you don't like kids, just make it clear: "No kids." And yes, I get annoyed by obnoxious 5 year olds whose parents do nothing to curb their behavior. But, there is clearly a difference between an obnoxious 5 year old and a 1 year old who is having a meltdown. As a parent, you can't really reason with a 1 year old, which is why I wouldn't dare walk into this place.
If I take my kids somewhere that's not really family-oriented (cloth napkins and everyone talking in hushed tones) they have to sit still and basically whisper. For the baby, if he starts to fuss one of us takes him out of the room.
Sound impractical and miserable for the kids? It is. We hardly ever go out to places like that. I think it's fair that if a place is somewhere where people go to relax then rowdy/cranky kids really can't be a part of that.
If it’s not obvious whether the place welcomes families or not then I tell the shushers to stick it up their ass (well, I don’t really tell them, but I cheerfully ignore their glares). I agree with Lisa, if the owner doesn’t want kids then put up a sign and I’ll stay out without complaint.
There are definitely parents out there who take their kids to restaurants and let them run wild. A good friend of mine was a manager at John's Place (referenced in the article) for years and had tons of horror stories about how kids ran around that place with no supervision and that parents seemed to expect the staff and other patrons to monitor them!
That said, NO child, regardless of age, is good 100% of the time!
I agree with the above posters.
One thing I do wonder is how we all would have answered 5 years ago. Or in my case, a year ago.
One more thing: my favorite is the bookstore called "Women and Children First" that kicks kids out of storytime for standing, talking or sipping drinks. That's like "Let's Pet Puppies" on Ashland, where the clerks yell at everyone who comes in the door, "Don't touch the puppies!" I think these stores would be more appropriately named "Women First, Children Go Away" and "Don't Touch the Freackin Dogs!"
Or 4 years from now.
Sure, you can reason with a 5-year-old. I think your standards for behavior are bound to change as that kid grows up. Your own child will know so much more about how to push your buttons than I think any of us is really ready for.
There's definitely some rich irony in a store called "Women and Children First" having a problem with someone breastfeeding during storytime.
I think you make a great point, Anneke. Based on my vastly increased tolerance for babies in the last year, it only makes sense that my tolerance for the munchkins will change as I go through the stages with Charlie.
That said, I'm not planning on raising a child who likes to throw tantrums all the time. I'm just admitting I know there's plenty I don't know yet.
My sister has a 6 year old. At 5, not only can they "reason" back, it is much easier for them to willfully disobey you!
My mom has a particular horror story of having to sit in the car in the McDonalds parking lot, physically restraining her screaming granddaughter from leaping out of the car. Of course, she was parked right in front of the entrance!
One other note on the feminist book store- supposedly someone was removed for BREAST FEEDING? That makes absolutely no sense to me....