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Friday · June 03 2005

Stacy took this picture of me in a gift shop in downtown Colorado Springs, Christmas 2003. Notice my look of joyful naivete with the cardboard “Instant Infant.” The advertising describes the boy as “The Perfect Baby.” Presumably, you pay your $10, open the plastic, unfold the child, and prop him up in the corner to look at and admire his silent ways.

We wanted no part of this “Instant Infant.” “We want the real thing,” we said. No quiet, non-blood curdling screaming, non-writhing, relaxed, consistently-eating, soundly-sleeping children for us. No, siree!

This week, we had a chance to take three types of pictures.

  1. Eating
  2. Sleeping
  3. The screaming you see above

#1 is out because closeups of my wife's boob don't belong here and if I'm feeding him with a bottle, you can bet Stacy is sleeping or in no mood to go find the camera. #2 is out because we're usually outside doing victory laps around the block while he sleeps. The only other time he sleeps is when he's in the Baby Bjorn and you can't see his face which is either smashed into the afore-mentioned boob or on my chest, in which case you can bet Stacy is sleeping or in no mood to go find the camera.

So you get #3, because I'm all about “fair and balanced” coverage. The cute pictures are on strike until morale improves. All the literature we've read says this could take anywhere from another month to the 22nd birthday.

Archived: Offspring » June 2005
What you had to say:
June 05 2005

Jason & Stacy,
Truly, I feel your pain and sense of desparation. As much as you may want to, do not throw yourself out the window. Dan bought earplugs to help him endure the constant crying while giving me a break from caring for Anna when she went through this crying stage. The only consolation I can give you is that it does end. It took a solid 4 months for Anna to come out of it, but even after that, she cried way more frequently that other kids who managed to be calm in their infancy. I think Anna just became so accustomed to crying, she just kept up that reaction to everything even after the "colic" ended. Hang in there.

June 06 2005

The picture does not truly capture the blood curdling essence of Charlie's wails- you need a wave file.
I hope this weekend was a LITTLE smoother than the last. Though I am guessing not much by your post!
I will keep my fingers crossed that this stage won't be 4 months for you....
Earplugs sound like a great idea. So does Xanax. seriously.

© 2005 Jason Keglovitz