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Wednesday · December 08 2004

21 mostly vague job titles I've held in chronological order:

  • Substitute Paperboy
  • B-Caddy
  • A-Caddy
  • Honor Caddy
  • Customer Sales Representative
  • Hasher
  • Temporary Office Assistant I
  • Temporary Lab Assistant I
  • Bellman
  • Summer Camp Counselor
  • Kitchen Boy
  • Research Intern
  • Systems Design Specialist
  • Business Associate
  • Applications Consultant
  • Software Developer Associate
  • Software Developer Consultant
  • Web Developer
  • Developer
  • Web Developer II
  • Software Consultant
What you had to say:
December 08 2004

what's a hasher? did you make hash marks on a chalkboard?! sounds like whatever it was, it was probably good times had by all.

December 08 2004

The hasher is the archaic term for table setter / pot scrubber in a snooty sorority kitchen. Not so good times, really.

December 08 2004

I think I still win the prize for most boring job title: data analyst.

December 08 2004

substitute/assistant paperboy
paperboy
lawn-mower/leaf-raker/walk-shoveller
banquet waiter
garbage collection summer help
road crew summer help
Audio-Visual Assistant, W&M Business School
Retail Clerk
Intern, PennDOT Office of Special Studies
Sandwich-maker/table-busser/dishwasher
Pizzeria Uno's "Server"
Menial task temp
Princeton Review Teacher
Freshman dorm loft setter-upper (CU-Boulder)
Legal Assistant
Information Specialist
Research Software Trainer
Documentation Specialist
Reporter
Reporter, Science & Technology
Senior Technology Reporter
Technology Editor

December 08 2004

Leave out the locations of the employment. That makes it too much like a resume. It's fun to see how much more non descriptive the job titles get as you go on.

December 08 2004

I know. I just threw those in because I imagined anyone actually reading that list would be curious about those in particular.

Clearly, Information Specialist is by far the worst title.

You're right about the increasing vagueness. In every company I've worked for, any promotion I got did not mean I had a new job, but that I had a new job added to the old one. I imagine it's like that for you too, thus the job name gets broader and less specific.

December 08 2004

Babysitter
Employee (we really didn't have titles at this job, and I'm leaving out the locations for effect as requested.)
Housekeeper
Assistant Horse Trainer
Horseback Riding Instructor
Reference Librarian's Assistant
Assistant Riding Director
Drill Instructor
TA (Teaching Assistant)
Technical Instructor
Technical Lead
Consultant
Principal Consultant
Senior Consultant
Systems Integration Specialist

I'm sure I'm forgetting many small jobs from my college and pre-college years.

December 08 2004

You jogged my memory with the librarian one. I have a library assistant wedged in between B-Caddy and A-Caddy.

December 08 2004

I recently changed jobs within my company and went from Senior Consultant to Consultant. Same overall department, two offices down the hall. Something is just wrong with that. I have to get new business cards. Rather embarassing, really.

December 08 2004

You know, I love the job titles with roman numerals in them. When I was job hunting I saw them everywhere "Business Analyst III" and "Data Warehouse Specialist IV."
Meaningful.
I asked for more money when they hired me here so they gave me a title "higher" than "Programmer" to go with the cash. I'm not complaining but neither title sounds as good as Senior Consultant. I feel your pain Anneke. :)

December 08 2004

At our company, what it says on the masthead and business card is not the same as what the corporate overlords see on their HR reports. So my boss and I could decide that my next title should be "Overlord of All Known Realms, Both Sacred and Profane" and yet the people in Holland trying to screw us out of raises would just see "Reporter II."

December 08 2004

Babysitter
Dance teacher assistant
Dance teacher
Library assistant
Retail employee
Library assistant
Lab technician
Consultant
Software Developer Associate
Software Developer Consultant

I am sure I am missing a few and some I can't really remember the specific title.

December 08 2004

Sandwich Artist

December 09 2004

My current title is Residential Team Leader. What makes this amusing is that I am a 1 person department.

December 09 2004

Eric, is Sandwich Artist from Subway? Trying to remember where I've heard that before.

December 09 2004

Yeah - Subway! It was my first job in high school, and I made $3.80 an hour. Unfortunately, the company kept most of the profits from my art.

December 09 2004

As a fellow ex-B,A, Honor caddy, I would have to say B-caddy, A-caddy and Honor caddy all fall under one title: Caddy. But I guess like padding a resume, you're just padding your list ;)

December 09 2004

It's all about the silliness of titles. All of these below are pretty much the same job.

# Software Developer Associate
# Software Developer Consultant
# Web Developer
# Developer
# Web Developer II
# Software Consultant

There is a difference between caddying for 80 year old men and cheapass jags (b-caddy) or caddying for cooler guys who tip well (honor caddy).

December 09 2004

"The company kept most of the profits from my art."

Isn't that the way it always is? Goddamned philistines never care about the struggling artist.

December 09 2004

Babysitter
Flyer Distributer
Retail Associate
Team Member
Shift Supervisor
Baker
Retail Associate
Phlebotomist
Medical Assistant
Marketing Coordinator
Marketing Associate
Sales Support Coordinator
Marketing Manager, Internet
Assistant Marketing Manager, Internet

Again with the step backwords....

December 09 2004

Babysitter
Flyer Distributer
Retail Associate
Team Member
Shift Supervisor
Baker
Retail Associate
Phlebotomist
Medical Assistant
Marketing Coordinator
Marketing Associate
Sales Support Coordinator
Marketing Manager, Internet
Assistant Marketing Manager, Internet

Again with the step backwords....

December 09 2004

Guess my professional isn't as creative with the job titles. Since college:

Law Clerk
Law Clerk
Law Clerk
Legal Analyst
Attorney
Attorney

Pretty boring, eh?

December 09 2004

Andrew, no jobs before college at all?

December 09 2004

Nice type-o above. That's what I get for being male and trying to multitask.

December 09 2004

Yeah, there were a few jobs during college, but I can't recall the exact titles. I'm pretty sure they were all some derivative of "customer service representative."

December 09 2004

Yeah but what about BEFORE college, Andrew?
Did you spend all your free time playing sand volleyball at Foothills?

December 10 2004

Nope, never worked before college, Tori. I can't recall what I did (definitely some Foothills volleyball), but I didn't work. I figured I had an entire lifetime of work ahead of me, so I didn't want to start working until I absolutely had to.

December 10 2004

That sounds about right. ;)

December 10 2004

TCBY Yogurt Artist
White Hen Lackey
TCBY Yogurtist
Utility Clerk
Banquet Hall Server / Intermezzo Server
Technical Equipment Services Assistant
Copy Shop Attendant
Dorm Dining Services Student Worker
Editorial Assistant
Gas Station Attendant
Retail Store Associate
Bank Teller
Advertising Advisor
Pre-Press Technician
Librarian (soon to be)

I haven't thought of most of these crap jobs in years! Thanks for jogging my memory.

© 2004 Jason Keglovitz