Friday · October 29 2004
The lid of my Hellman's mayonnaise jar has a sticker on it: “As Always…0g of Carbs.”
“As Always…” You could have been enjoying my yummy, creamy, no-carb, emulsified flavor all these years, but you were scared off by all the nasty things people said about me. “Eewww, mayonnaise, that's gross.” Now it's my turn to shine in the illogical hype of the Atkins sun.
“As Always” is mayonnaise's way of saying, “Suck it, bitches. Who's the king now?”
I think what I feel the worst about in this stupid Atkins-crazed world is that I sure did jump on the no-fat band wagon in college. Egg white omelets, bagels, salads with fat-free dressing, snackwells, jellybellies.... I'd eat anything that was fat free.
Now I realize that as with moderation, moderation in dining is the key. Fiber and fresh frtui and veggies don't hurt either. Atkins lovers can suck ME.
I did the same thing, but more because I find I really don't like fatty things, while I love starch and always have.
When I'm very hungry, I much prefer the "holy crap I just ate a whole sack of pretzels without noticing" kind of full as opposed to the "holy crap I just ate a huge cheeseburger with mayo" kind of full. I don't know if I can explain the difference.
I hate mayo all the way around.