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Wednesday · June 02 2004

If Only John Kerry Knew How to Sing
If more votes are cast in the next “American Idol” than in the fall presidential election, the country should consider using the “Idol” election format next time around.

Nine democrats in the primary? Get em all on stage and have Paula and Simon help us trim the field each week with our toll call and text messaged votes. Ryan Seacrest can build the drama while Kerry and Edwards stand on stage holding hands as the finalists. Cut to a commercial break, return to more blabber from Seacrest, and Edwards hugs Kerry as Kerry is announced the primary winner.

Seacrest: Thank you America! Return for the American Idol Tournament of Champions in November with George W. Bush and John Kerry. George will be returning to perform his standby, “Killing an Arab” by The Cure, and John will be singing his trademark medley of “Fortunate Son” by CCR, “Son of a Bush” by Public Enemy, and the Who anthem, “Won't Get Fooled Again”. See you in November, America. I'm Ryan Seacrest, good night.

Archived: Political » June 2004
© 2004 Jason Keglovitz