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Tuesday · May 25 2004

Shafiq sent me an email this morning. He is moving to Portland, OR in two weeks to start a Physician's Assistant program. His move marks the last of my close college friends leaving Chicago for the West. Though I don't see Shafiq more than once a year or so, his news reminded me that the window of opportunity to experience living outside Chicago is closing.

Stacy and I want to have a baby soon. I'm scared to death about the stresses and responsibility that will bring. Everything won't be about me anymore. Are we going to voluntarily start over with a home, jobs, and friends while caring for a baby all for the sake of variety and something new?

I'd like to say that I need two lives to do it all, but the truth is I haven't done that great of a job making the most of the one I have. Inertia has ruled too often when a frozen situation needed a decision, and other times I have quit too soon for fear of staying too long.

I moved to Boston when I was 23 because I met a girl I had to know better and see everyday. Driving away from a bedroom in my mom's basement and a job I hated was easy. I look back on that decision and following period as the best thing I have done. My sister made a similar move last fall taking a job in Visalia, CA. She stepped away from the default Chicago life and ventured into something new. When I talk to her on the phone, I know she is experiencing the same sort of golden age (dramatic term, but I don't know what else to call it) I had in Boston with Stacy. You can look back at nearly every weekend and recall what you did and who you met.

Staring at this “Save” button is like looking down from the 30 ft. high dive. I'm forcing my own hand.

What you had to say:
May 25 2004

Babies!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe you'll inspire Mojan and Eric (kidding!!).

My mom always tells me that one can never be fully prepared for having children. I've got my fingers crossed for you guys.

May 25 2004


May 25 2004

everyone wants to move- me included. yet it is so hard to leave without something pulling you out the door. Like a job or some sort of opportunity.
Maybe what you're ready for is a change- a baby will certainly be that!
I myself am waiting for a "sign" of some sort to tell me it is time to go.....

May 25 2004

Well put, Stef. I have a hard time figuring out if I need something pulling me out the door so I can justify it to myself or everyone else.

I *am* ready for a change, and, yes, a baby would be that in a big way. But I'm also ready to live closer to mountains and trees and farther from the Kennedy "express"way. Moving to some suburb an hour west of Chicago is not a solution.

May 25 2004

This marks my third year in Chicago. It's the longest I've lived anywhere since I was 14. At first I was thrilled with the novelty of actually running into people I knew- forming a community is something that takes more time than I've ever spent in one place.

Yet as I contemplate the future, I can feel the old demons scratching away. The urge to move is usually inspired by the awful Chicago weather, and killed by the heat of summer.

Maybe I just need to kidnap everyone I know and move them all with me next time.

May 26 2004

sounds like you might like CO- just a suggestion...;)

May 26 2004

Colorado is the most likely location if we do ever make a move. Definitely somewhere between Nebraska and the Pacific anyway.

May 26 2004

yeah well you got the fam and friends there already- that's easier then starting from scratch. 'specially w/baby in tow....

May 26 2004

Me: "Hello - this is Steve, a long-time lurker and used-to-be-frequent poster."
You: "thanks for posting steve, where have you been and what's on your mind?"
Me: "I've been in school. and now summer school. and I'm doing too much until June 22nd. then, I'll be less busy. sorry i haven't called. Anyways, it seems that by the time you make the decision to move to Colorado, you could have been living the happy life here for several years, and maybe even be making plans to move back to Chicago in a year or two and having babies. I've never thought as moving as permanent. Similarly, I've never thought of being where I am as permanent. So if you have the attitude that you may not be living where you're at next month or next year, it makes it easier to start those plans for where you want to be. I understand job and family constraints, but I think the overriding factor is: you can always move back (which isn't saying that you wouldn't be moving forward). If you'd just be moving for variety, I don't think that's a bad reason, but something tells me that you'd be doing it for more than that...especially if you were to move to CO and be closer to Stacy's family. and the mountains. and me."

You:"Thanks for your post, now call me soon."
Me:"got it. I will."

May 26 2004


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