Fresh from The Onion: New Negative Campaign Ads Blast Voters Directly

“The Bush people initiated this volley of negative ads, but we won't be lured into a reactive campaign against the Republicans,” Kerry campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill said Monday. “It's time to redirect the cheap name-calling away from Bush and toward those Americans who might be idiotic enough to vote for him.”

Note to Beijing Evening News reporters: this story is a joke.