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Wednesday · March 31 2004

13 ways to raise a non-reading child

  1. Never read where your children can see you.
  2. Put a TV or computer in every room. Don't neglect the bedrooms and the kitchen.
  3. Correct your child every time she mispronounces a word.
  4. Schedule activities every day after school so your child will never be bored.
  5. Once your child can read independently, throw out the picture books. They're for babies.
  6. Don't play board games together. Too dull.
  7. Give little rewards for reading. Stickers and plastic toys are nice. Money is even better.
  8. Don't expect your child to enjoy reading. Kids' books are for teaching vocabulary, proper study habits, and good morals.
  9. Buy only 40-watt bulbs for your lamps.
  10. Under no circumstances read your child the same book over and over. She heard it once, she should remember it.
  11. Never allow your child to listen to books on tape; that's cheating.
  12. Make sure your kid reads only books that are “challenging.” Easy books are a complete waste of time. That goes double for comic books and Mad magazine.
  13. Absolutely, positively no reading in bed.

Same goes for adults.

(Via John Scalzi's AOL Journal)

Archived: Read » March 2004
© 2004 Jason Keglovitz