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Monday · January 26 2004

If my name was absent from this site, I could write without a trace. I would say things that took a stance and might hurt feelings. Friends have asked me, "How can you share so much of yourself publically on your weblog?" Easy. I don't. I don't share the honest, shameful, boasting, biting, mean, surprised, or overjoyed bits. I share the neutral take that will keep me out of trouble because I made the fatal mistake of attaching my name to this thing. Isn't that how I do everything? Would you expect any different? Be wry, a little acidic, and stand out of judgment's way.

The irony, of course, is that if my name were not attached, you wouldn't know it was me. I may as well keep a Doogie Howser diary on my hard drive. The whole point of this exercise was to share with my friends, not anonymous lurkers. I'm thinking a phone call would have been a better idea. Or maybe a password would fix it.

I've been angry for the last week. I thought about sitting down and filling a piece of paper titled, "Who are you mad at?" I thought about taking the snow shovel in my hands and flinging it through the car window. I thought about driving really fast on the shoulder lane. I thought about running out the door, slamming it behind me, and not worrying how it would all shake out. And I did.

What you had to say:
January 26 2004

You might be mad at me. Why? Well, a month or two ago I sorta moved in here but never bothered to introduce myself or even announce myself. I should have said something. So, here I am. I don't even remember how I found your blog. I don't know you. You don't know me. It is highly unlikely our paths would ever cross in real life. So, yes, I've been a lurker. But now I'm no longer anonymous. Thought I should finally say hi or something. Hi.

January 26 2004

Hi, Marie. Thanks for introducing yourself and moving in.

I should have put a break in between the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. They don't have anything to do with one another. I'm definitely not angry at anonymous lurkers. The last paragraph is a shot of frustration with my family. or myself.

January 26 2004

could it be a combination of mid-winter blues, cabin fever, and an urge to do something beyond?

© 2004 Jason Keglovitz