Five or six men are vying to be the alternative to President Bush in November. I'm the average 30 year old Democratic voter. I always vote, but I don't pay attention until I need to. Here's what I know about the candidates from 6 months of peripheral observation.

• John Kerry: Vietnam vet. Came out of the war wounded and a little unstable. He's a senator from Massachusetts and he doesn't like George Bush.
• Howard Dean: The former Vermont governor I'm supposed to like, because I'm young and have a weblog. Or that's what all the kids tell me. Unfortunately, I want the U.S. president to have a presence slightly more becoming than that of an angry high school football coach. Dean is a doctor and he doesn't like George Bush either.
• John Edwards: He's from The South, he's young, and he smiles alot. Hootie and the Blowfish endorse his candidacy and I think he hates George Bush, but he's too positive and happy to say it.
• Wesley Clark: He was an Army general in Kosovo. He said something to Bob Dole last night on CNN about 95 mph fastballs. Bob Dole has to be using undertaker's makeup; he looks like he died 3 weeks ago. That's what I know about Wes Clark.
• Joe Lieberman: He ran 4 years ago as Gore's VP. I'm sure he doesn't like George Bush, but it doesn't matter, because Joe isn't going to win.

Do I know anything about their stances on national issues? I know Dean opposed the Iraq war and John Edwards likes to smile (he's "friendly" and from "The South", don't forget). No, I don't know anything about their candidacy platforms. It doesn't matter, does it?

We're not interested in picking the best Democratic candidate with interests closest to ours just to see him lose in November. The question everyone asks is, "Can ________ beat George Bush?" That has become the only question to ask. Our circumstance is sad and cynical, but if the goal is to win, we have to learn to game the system.

That's how everything works.