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Monday · December 29 2003

The graduating class of Oakville Trafalgar High School in Canada elected Andrew Ironside, an unpopular classmate, as the valedictorian in an attempt to humiliate him. He made the most of it and addressed the assembly, "A lot of you were jerks."

"Valedictorians always go up there and talk about how we have all these great memories -- the best memories of our lives," he said from Brock University in St. Catharines, where he is now studying biochemistry. "I didn't want to talk like that. I wanted to maybe help the people who didn't have the greatest time in high school."
I can just hear the jackass parents yacking afterwards, "Why wasn't Cheryl giving the speech? She was so much more deserving and wouldn't have made a fool of the school." Brian Johnson would have been proud.

What you had to say:
December 30 2003

Go, him.
As a side note, I suppose, did anybody else's high school ELECT valedictorians? I thought it was a purely GPA thing. It was in college, too.

P.S. Watch out for people with Almanacs!

December 30 2003

My school had 4 speakers to represent the different facets of school. The valedictorian for GPA, another guy elected by coaches for sports, another elected by service faculty for volunteer service and a 4th elected by teachers (and I'm not sure if we students voted on it or not) for non-sports extracurriculars.

The awards all had names, none of which I remember. I like the idea of the 4 speakers all with shorter speeches.
As a side note, are the new colors too soft now?

December 30 2003

No, I love the new colors, and was thinking as much before you asked.

My high school had six valedictorians, all of whom allegedly had 4.0s. The token female, however, had received an A- in AP BC Calculus during the 3rd quarter, but her teacher went to bat for her saying that she'd pull up her GPA by the end of the year so she should prep to be one of the six anyway. She did not, but they let her speak anyway.
She always felt that her best friend deserved it more because said best friend had taken more difficult classes senior year than she.
At my college, there was one valedictorian, who I assume had a 4.0. She was also a track star.

December 30 2003

The best friend didn't want to speak anyway, so was happy with the outcome. The only sad part is that the best friend had to listen to the Soup Dragons by herself on her way home from the last day of school. However, I believe that moment was just delayed. :)

I don't even remember validictorians from college.

December 30 2003

I really like the new colors, too.

January 09 2004


I'm from OTHS, the school Andrew is from. I am friends with him. He deserves the valedictorian honour, because he obviously embraced what the students wanted in fellow students. You could all use some education in Ontario education, because we don't have GPA's and what do you expect the kids to do when thier entire high school education was half of what it could be because of a new 4 year high school program. We were just rebelling! Go Ironside!

"I am the revolution!" -Andrew Ironside

© 2003 Jason Keglovitz