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Wednesday · December 10 2003

How do I link to a 4 man roundtable on anticipating and experiencing fatherhood and, at the same time, swear I have no motive nor joyous news? I just did.

Go the pregnancy section at the book store (not that I have dammit; I already told you to stop reading between the lines.) and every book has advice for the woman. She's admittedly doing all the fetus-related work, but how does the guy know what's next? What can he read to prepare himself? Noting this lack of literature, I've now held out long enough so that two of my good friends could become dads and give me the first hand account. I don't do anything without researching it first and if I can't find reviews on Metromix or Amazon, I want an eyewitness.

The four dads (and dad-to-be) in the interview spin as good of a first time dad primer as I'll probably ever find. I'm even going to print the article out for the future when I might need to reread. Dan's kids might already be in little league by that time and I fear he won't remember the infant years. (Is there a better way to alarm my wife than the last sentence? No.)

So my wife and I picked up a couple of those Practice Babies – whattayacallums, ‘cats.’ They seem pretty easy to take care of, so after a while we figured we’d give this whole Having A Child scam a try. By our reckoning, if we teach the kid to use the litter box, feed it kibble, and put one of those tracking microchips in the nape of its neck, we won’t have to alter our lifestyle in the least.
When a couple buys a dog together, they are telling the world, "We're buying a trial child that we can put in a cage and leave alone while we continue our friday night bender schedule." They'll be having kids soon soon as everyone else is.

Humor and pregnancy mix well together (see dooce). Accounts of expectant, first time parenthood are funny because, no matter how different we try to be in every other phase of life, we all make babies the same and almost all of us are scared of the same things. These 4 guys demonstrate how similar their experiences are, which comforts those of us who think ours will be the scariest.

Many women grow up imagining their wedding day and how perfect everything will be. I grew up thinking how cool it would be to play baseball with my kid...stopping my daughter from throwing like a girl or catching a ball from my son that's harder than I can throw. I always imagined they'd arrive in my life that way, on my doorstep, 6 years old, in their little league outfit. Can you buy em like that?

What you had to say:
December 10 2003

Oops, that comment about Stacy commenting somehow got stuck under the wrong headline.
The sea air must be affecting my brain.

December 10 2003

I thought that's what you meant, hehe. I don't think Stace liked Line of Fire anymore than I did.

Did you read the article, Tori? I could just see myself answering those questions in the same way at some indeterminate time in the not too distant (but yet not immediate) future.

December 10 2003

That was a very interesting article! I never really thought about there not being a whole lot out there for soon-to-be dads. When our time comes, I imagine I will read books, but mostly I will bug Jody and Lisa for more detailed info.

I don't think I want to skip the first 6 years. ;) I realize you lack sleep in the first one, but I can't miss the tiny finger and toe stage! They are too cute. Loud, but cute.

December 10 2003

Oh, and no, I didn't like Line of Fire very much.

December 11 2003

I have to agree about the first 6 years! In fact, I am mostly nervous about what happens AFTER those first years. They start REALLY talking back, socializing with god-knows-who on the playground, rejecting their mommy's taste in clothing .... Yikes!
So, when do you guys start trying? I want to be an auntie again.

© 2003 Jason Keglovitz