The advertising hype for ABC's "Line of Fire" sucked me into wasting an hour of my life. I've been subject to the repetitive line of ads on ESPN 1000 radio, which is affiliated with ABC, on my drive home, so I bit. I watched the entire season of "24" last year, I've enjoyed "The Sopranos" when I've seen it, and I love quality crime dramas at the movies. "Line of Fire" tries to be all of these things and fails miserably. I kept watching after the first commercial break just to give it a chance, but that was a mistake.
"Line of Fire" is embarrassingly bad television. Nobody walks the streets in this version of Norfolk, VA except for The Good Guys and The Bad Guys. We see them split screen at intervals, so if we forget who's who after the break we won't get confused. The Good team are agents of the Richmond division of the FBI - tiny, gorgeous women with machine guns and their hunky, sensitive, racially diverse male counterparts. The Bad team are members of the Malloy crime family in Norfolk, VA - a pack of blank faced stuntmen led by David Paymer in the role of "evil crime boss who looks like an accountant." Unlike Tony Soprano, who Malloy's family life is clearly modeled around, this guy shows no trace of humanity or character. James Bond villains have more complexity and depth.
I'd tell you about the plot, but nobody cares. Don't watch this show.