The December issue of Harper's printed J. Robert Lennon's "Substitution Chart" which first appeared in the October issue of Lamination Colony. I like the idea behind the piece and started my own substitution chart.
bacon = Doritos
helping someone move = dead car battery
Cubs = Red Sox
a guilt-free plate of chocolate chip cookies = an afternoon off work
reality television = pink eye
The Strokes = The White Stripes
patchouli = Gloria Jean vanilla coffee
Haha that last one is funny. I appreciate that.