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Tuesday · June 17 2003

With half-price tickets and Pedro Martinez on the mound, I couldn't resist the temptation of a ballgame on the southside where I'm always told, "There's less traffic, parking is easy, the seats are great, the food is better, the fans watch (gasp) the game." Pfffft. ChiSox vs. BoSox was a great plan conceived but that was where it ended.

Stace & I left the house at 6pm, picked up Mark's friend John, an active duty army captain studying at U of C, and headed down to Hyde Park to grab Mark. I'm glad we got to meet John. In addition to being patient with my usual barrage of curious questions on topics I know nothing about (the army) and being a friendly, nice guy, he took charge of a hopeless post-game parking lot situation and convinced the 3 slacking off duty policemen turned sox security guards sitting in their golf carts to do something about the fact that 150 cars were snared in total chaos in a gravel lot with one exit. I'm not ready to follow John on my belly with an M-16 on my back, but I can see how he convinces others to do so. "Leader he is." (yoda, nevermind)

The traffic over the Dan Ryan bridge on 35th was a mess. I wasn't the only genius who figured half price tickets and Pedro Martinez was a good buy. We spent the first 2 innings waiting in line for tickets. We rode escalators the next half inning. Mark and John hit the concession stand and disappeared for 2 complete innings. Rose, their concessions engineer, was a friendly lady who turned the normally terse transaction of nachos and beer into an extended interpersonal relationship with each customer. Mark and Stacy both said they were glad I wasn't the one in line with Rose. I have a tendency to explode on people like that. I'm impatient, can't help it. Slow people, barking dogs, screaming kids, golf course starters, and people that don't let me merge on the on-ramp are a few of my unfavorite things.

Mark and John finally returned to the game somewhere around the end of the 5th inning. The home Sox were ahead at the end of the game so there wasn't a bottom of the 9th. In all, I think they watched about 4 innings, none of it with Pedro on the mound. John got his money's worth. US military gets a free pass into games at U.S Cellular Field (the 'Joan' as I think it should be called after Joan Cusack who is the spokeswoman for U.S. Cellular and their increasingly inane ads -- please explain the dentist on the airplane one to me.)

As I mentioned above, the post-game parking situation was in line with the parking situation at Tweeter Center for Ozzfest (Considering the overlap between Sox fans and Ozzfest, not surprising). If John hadn't pointed out to the slobs in the golf carts that they needed to do something other than watch (I think they were shocked that people showed up for the game), we could've easily been immobile in the lot for another 45 minutes.

I likely won't be back to the southside park for another 3 years, and I doubt they'll miss me. Sox fans think their park is all these great things, but it didn't work out for me. I did enjoy how much effort Sox fans go to to show their distaste for all things Cub and northside. "Cubs suck, Cork this, Sosa sucks, etc." Sox fans have a complex. One word: Obsessed.

What you had to say:
June 17 2003

The northside is not exactly a picnic.

Some friends and I decided to venture north today to get some Indian food on Devon. After making our way uptown through Sox-style traffic , we got to Devon and found most of the coffee-tea shops closed. That turned out okay when we found a great restaurant, except my alternator went out somewhere around Irving Park and Lawrence.

While that was getting fixed at a Korean repair shop (shoutout to Turbo Motors!), we took a cab ride down the street. We are paying the driver when a mini-van pulls up behind and the driver gets out. He storms up to the car and tells the cabbie to get out of the car. The cabbie says "i was just letting them out". Mini-van driver then says he is going to kill him.

After surviving that, the car was fixed around 4:30. Just in time to hit the best of the northside traffic.

Homicidal mini-van drivers, god-awful traffic, car malfunctions, and a two-hour ordeal to get food. And you think the southside is bad?

June 17 2003

Irving Park & Lawrence? Is that some strange intersection in the non-Euclidean world of Chicago where parallel streets meet? Or are you just a southsider?

June 17 2003

Our streets tend to be numbered. That, and a lack of Banana-Republic-wearing-yuppies-who-can't-navigate-a-buffet are just a couple of the many advantages to living on the southside.

© 2003 Jason Keglovitz