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Friday · May 23 2003

Pork gets a bad rap. Many people don't like pork for some reason. They curl up their nose and tell you, "I don't eat red meat." Have you ever seen pork? It's not red. It's pink (raw) and white (cooked) just like the chicken breast that you drench with fat-free Ranch dressing and croutons deep fried in trans-saturated fat sitting on a bed of zero-nutrition iceberg lettuce. While I'm visiting red meat, what exactly falls under this heading beside beef (a word which aforementioned non-red meat eaters can't bring themselves to say aloud)? And before you say venison, ask yourself how many times you've been confronted with that choice in the last 5 years. Ranting on non-red meat eaters aside (just say you don't like the smell, color, taste, and/or origin of BEEF, I swear it's easy), here's a list of actual and not-so-actual pork promotion mottos to consider next time you turn down a tasty white meat porkchop.

Please don't bring up bacon. I can't defend bacon like I can pork. It's bad for you, but it taste better than Doritos. God created the world, but he did a poor job of matching tasty flavors to foods that won't kill you if you eat them everyday. Not that your average Chicagoan cares.

What you had to say:
May 27 2003

Lamb is red meat, although veal technically isn't.

© 2003 Jason Keglovitz